so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
