Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i came on her dog
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
