In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
