We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
