I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
