Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
