and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
