I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
