I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
