I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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