Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
