You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
