somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
