She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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