Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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