He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
