I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
