One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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