your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
