I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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