so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
