And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
