Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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