He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
