this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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