it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
