We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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