Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
