yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
