The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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