I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
