I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Acid is not a monday night drug
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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