Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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