turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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