would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
