I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
