She is in my trunk
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
