I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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