Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
