How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
