Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
