Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
