he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
