She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
