I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
