I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
