I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
MIDGETS
????
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
