i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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