i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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