My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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