i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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