I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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