your thong is hanging out like whoa
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
